Like shattered glass...a broken view

"Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all people, because all sinned—" - Romans 5:12

Come on a journey with me, if you please.  Imagine that you are a health care provider and you've done all you can possibly do, but the situation is not improving.  Stop there for just a minute.  Back up, just a little to remember your heart in what you do.  You've been given a passion for healing, for restoration, for life.  This passion is not just a passing trend, rather it's been passed down to you as a legacy from your Father, a gift, His passion is also life, abundant life.  Back to the current situation. 

Your working hard to preserve two lives.  One seems that it will improve momentarily and it's possible to continue supporting her life.  The other one, the one that is so little and needs so much because, well, it's just arrived and can't help itself, seems to be fading before your eyes.  Yet, there is more help to give and the whole situation becomes joyful in just a moment.  This would be the birth that you just assisted with.  There were a few tention filled moments just after the baby came out, then all was well.  Oh, what an amazing, incredible, miraculous event to witness time and time again.  Life.

Now, continue on through your morning.  You have patients coming back for their postnatal check ups.  This is usually a time of joy as you check over the growing baby, support and encourage the new mother and sometimes the father.  You laugh at some of the cultural traditions and sometimes have to lay down reality in the face of tradition passed on from generations that isn't really helpful for the life of the mother or baby.  Such is life, but it's good.  

This morning that baby check isn't the case.  The mom contacted you the previous night to say that her baby was turning red and blue.  You advise her for home monitoring and to come in as soon as possible or go directly to the hospital as you can only go with what she is texting you.  She arrives early the next morning.  You can hear the baby before you see him and know that something must be done immediately for his blocked, heavily congested airway.  Deep suctioning is performed and you hurry away on a transport to the hospital.  As if  your heart wasn't heavy enough at watching this little life fail, it's about to get heavier.

What you find makes your heart break.  In the very place where you have gone to seek help to sustain life you find apathy and death.  You carry this precious, struggling little life in your arms only to walk by sickness that eats away at people's very life leaving them corpses of hopelessness.

That was my dear friend this morning.  She is a midwife.  Sometimes there are midwives who don't like hospitals, but in truth, there is a place for them and the care they offer.  We have disagreements, just like every field of medicine (have you asked how a surgeon would deal with a situation versus a therapist?  Ya, pretty different!), but we do rely on them in a healthy chain of giving the best care to patients.  Unfortunately, what she was met with this morning was overwhelming.  She was absolutely overcome with the severity of death, especially where it seems there should be healing.

My friend took her precious, gasping baby to the hospital and was overcome by the struggling, and occasionally lifeless bodies around her and the apparent lack of concern from the staff or even just available staff (please know, i'm sure that they care and are probably often overcome by the pure volume and the difficulties they have in trying to meet demand...imagine daily triage, so NO disrespect to them at all.)

The feeling that comes is utter helplessness and a reminder of the reality that this life is filled with death. Oh, sometimes we can see death as a sort of poetic doorway and be comforted that for those walking the path of Life it is only the beginning, but often there is nothing beautiful or poetic about it and it may be filled with hopelessness if they don't know He who gives Life.  It's a hard path to walk when those who you have sought for further help aren't sufficient.

Praise the Lamb for the life He gives, oh share it freely!  And, if you know people in the health care profession pray for them.  Lift up their patients (even though you may not know them) to the Great Physician.  Life is precious and not just this life here and now, but the life to come!

Of Justice and Birth

Hello!  Oh, it's been a while since there's been an entry on here. Sorry, no that your sitting on the edge of your seat for the next post, but maybe it's a little hard to keep up with someone when they never post.  True that!

Today, on the way to shift my friend said she was just, "writing a blog in her head."  This actually came up because I had texted her when her car drove by instead of stopping to pick me up!  She graciously and quickly turned around and did give me a lift.  haha.  We were laughing and she was just saying how she was writing a blog post in her head, and thus lost in thought and driving auto-pilot.  That made me think....blogging.  Hmmm, that's a fun thing to do, in fact i used to do that!  So, here's the blog post that is a little story of today and a window into the daily life.

This morning shift was crazy!  There were three of us on shift who could catch.  We go in order depending on your last birth, so I was third up.  Initially it was rather quiet.  We had postpartum patients in various stages of postpartum.  Some waiting to pay and go home, some needing a baby bath, then go home...yup, various stages.

Then, Salem, my friend who was talking about the blog, she got a labor!  Woo-hoo.  She checked her in and found out she was fully and her patient gave birth shortly there after!! :) That was just the start to the shift...then Brenda got a patient, then I got a patient, then Brenda caught a baby who was almost born in a taxi, then...well, it was just so busy.  In summation: Salem caught 2 babies, Brenda caught 1 and had a labor, and I had 2 labors.

What does justice have to do with this?  Well, sometimes woman are positively wonderful to work with and be with during their labor, some woman are just, well, it can be a character polishing experience...and some, they are just trying.  That "trying" patient for me is usually the one that challenges my ability.  Yes, they make me wonder if I know what in the world I've learned or seen!

Today I had one such patient (the first one who was there the longest!)  She was almost fully dilated, but was not dilating symmetrically, so she labored in hands and knees.  The difficulty was what i felt was an inability to communicate with her and how hard it was to read her.  The contractions are apparent, but she wanted to push so early on, which was expected, but so hard as the midwife to know how best to support her and when to really support her to push when her baby really needed to descend a while. ("a while" that's a very Filipino phrase...our English is greatly effected here.)

Here's where the justice comes in.  Towards the end of shift she was becoming progressively more pushy, but was tired and had a small potential for being transported.  In preparation for the next shift and to help her with tiredness (before it became exhaustion) I inserted an IV.  At this point it was apparent that the bana (husband...boyfriend) was a little frustrated that she hadn't delivered yet.  Oh, it was slight, so slight, but it opened up in me a well that poured forth a need for justice  I looked at him and said, "YOU must support her.  Her work is hard.  She is working so hard and is progressing normally, so YOU must support her." Oh, what used to be a slight frustration with my patient became such a passion for her justice that she would receive the support, encouragement, and love she deserved as a laboring woman.  She really was doing excellent.

Justice hasn't been something that has always been on my heart, well, maybe in the negative.  We can all think about personal and inpersonal situations of injustice, probably especially within the "Justice System".  Hmmm, but there is positive justice.  In fact, it is an attribute of our Heavenly Father.  He cares for justice.  When we want justice, though sometimes it's our injured ego, often it is a reflection of our desire for the perfection that can only come from God.  Know Him.  Seek after Him and seek His justice.

"He loves righteousness and justice;

The earth is full of the goodness of the Lord."

Psalm 33:5

"For the Lord loves justice,

And does not forsake His saints;

They are preserved forever,

But the descendants of the wicked shall be cut off."

Psalm 37:28

"A bruised reed He will not break,

And smoking flax He will not quench,

Till He sends forth justice to victory;"

Matthew 12:20

P.S. this patient did deliver shortly after the swing shift came on...haven't heard the whole story yet, but no doubt it will be good!

Happy Birthday to Justine Kurt!!  3450 g (7lbs. 10oz) and 54cm long.  He's pretty cute!

His parents were great all throughout labor!  It was a great 1st catch to start off this new year!  Thank you Jesus.

The new year has begun!  Once again, the LORD gave me much favor throughout my travels.  What initially appeared as a hassle with my bag being overweight (actually our fault for mis-reading the website) in the end was a blessing.  In Manila they only allow 7k for the carry on bag.  We almost packed it with 20 lbs more due to the weight in the very beginning.  However, we didn't and it worked perfectly in the end!  God's hand.


My flights, though each was slightly delayed went smoothly.  Only one was completely full.  In fact, on  one flight the entire row was empty, so I slept very well on that flight!  :D  It rained the whole way and continues to be a little rainy here, but no complaints considering that is keeping things a little cooler.


It's great to be back for sure.  Yet, my heart was sad to leave my dear family and friends.  My heart was also troubled with fears of this upcoming year,  "What if it's too much?  Will I burn out?  What about failure?"  (just the inevitable thoughts after leaving such a different world) So, my heart was turned to pouring out to my dear LORD.  He reminded me of His faithfulness and goodness, that my expectation is in Him (Ps. 62:5-8), and of all His clear working for me to be here.  "being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ." -Philippians 1:6 (also 1 Thess. 5:24).  Praise the LORD.  


And, the LORD gave me one more verse to remind me, again, and humble me, also again!  

"There are four things which are little on the earth,

But they are exceedingly wise:

²⁵ 

The ants are a people not strong,

Yet they prepare their food in the summer;

²⁶ 

The rock badgers are a feeble folk,

Yet they make their homes in the crags;

²⁷ 

The locusts have no king,

Yet they all advance in ranks;

²⁸ 

The spider skillfully grasps with its hands,

And it is in kings’ palaces."

-Proverbs 30:24-28

He gives gifts and has a different value and view than we, in our human weakness place on things.  He's my strength, and my joy and my song!  Amen? We are each created for a purpose and we will certainly fulfill it because of Him.

That's the summary for the moment.  The first shift I will work in on Thursday for an outreach (Talikala to the prostitutes).  Lovely.  In the meantime, there is much adjustment back into the Philipines.  The culture, standing out as a "puti" or white person, time difference, food differences....  and yet, it's all familiar.  There was no need to change money, it was relatively easy to speak with the taxi driver, settling in before bed only required unpacking a suitcase, not setting up shop!  (and of course, i'll have to watch some Olympics online!)

On this year shall go with Yaweh Nissi, the LORD is my banner!  And all ya'all for my support with many prayers and great encouragement.  

Blessings to you all!

Hello!

Oh, my.  Time has really flown.  If you've heard or read it once, then you know just how true Eccelesiastes 3 is.  To everything there really is a time.  This is true, even with this month almost over (and it's so hard to believe) everything has had it's place and it's season.  Some planned and some unplanned.

For those of you with whom we crossed paths, it was WONDERFUL. (even phone calls)  For those of you that it didn't work out this time, next year.  :)   All in good time.

This time has been filled with so much conversation of the Lord's work.  He is always at work among His people.  He is jealous for His name and displays His glory in so many ways in both foreign fields and home fronts.  What an inexplicable life that we live to know God and be loved by Him.

To summarize this past year in writing, it's been challenging for sure, yet, these challenges have allowed for new vision and to deepening my Faith.  The LORD clearly is watching over the needs of the fatherless as many of the mothers we see are single, or are having a child with their boyfriend, who is currently present, but the future is unknown.  Working 4 shifts a week is a new physical challenge, but it's doable, especially when we can all encourage one another.  So good.

Anyway, here's a few points of prayer for this upcoming Year, 2012-2013:
- Continued Language Learning (Visayan)
- There is a NEW team coming in!
- For the work at the clinic; especially recognizing postpartum depression
- Continued health through this next year
- Continued capacity to be ready to learn new things
- Always being ready to share Christ in word (even if another language) and deed
- Higher clinical expectations

And, there never was a list of things that I would be refilling on  (sorry), but for future reference (Holiday Season....  :))  if you want some ideas:
- Baby clothes (hats, blankets, mittens, and booties)
- Chocolate (dark is the best! nuts and dried fruits are ok too)
- Letters and Cards
- anything that's just plum fun! :)  (Desi can be a good resource too!)

Blessings to you all!!

Hello!

It is so amazing and weird to be back in the United States.  Reverses Culture shock, as it's been called, is a whole new ball of wax. Wow.  It can certainly blind side one.  None the less, other than a funny incident.

The bathrooms here.  Well, you must understand.  In the Philippines, it is totally normal to have one urinal in the woman's bathroom.  Don't ask why, I don't know.  Anyway, at the airport in Detroit, while waiting for the plane it seemed prudent to avail of a CR (they are called restrooms here) before boarding.  So, i walked passed the men's entrance and walked into the woman's entrance which was much further passed the first entrance.  I glanced at the sign which both said "woman" and showed the supporting picture of a female stick figure.  Yeah, that's what I saw.

Walking into the said restroom, i noticed that infront of me was a urinal, but I honestly couldn't remember if that was normal or not.  So, i slowly walked into the stall while glancing back at the mirror to see who would walk out of a different stall.  The poor man...he affirmed this was indeed the men's room.  Gracious sakes.

One down for culture shock!  haha.  Thankfully, we didn't run into each other again.  :D  Whew.


This is some of what is such a shock:
- Tall people, especially guys
- White people, well, summer tans, but obviously white
- Space between the houses
- Open roads that are well kept up
- we are NOT close to the equator
- everyone speaks English...amazing
- There are trees everywhere, like tall, full leaves, no palm trees
- People, well, they just shout to each other in public!

Yup, that's a little taste of what's hitting the senses.  It's been super relaxing thus far too!  Living in A.C., being cooked for, laughing loads, sleeping pretty much whenever, just soaking up each day.  Ahhh.

Hopefully in a couple days, there will be a little list of some "re-stock" to take back to the Philippines.  For now, as mentioned, i'm just soaking up the each day.  It's sooo lovely.

Departure Day!

Good morning (at least here in the Philippines!)

It's 7:31am and in about 2 hours i'll be at the airport.  Which means, TODAY is the day to begin traveling back Stateside.  wow.  Here's some info on the trip, so you can just pray however the Lord leads you.

"Fun Facts"
- MD has no power currently (no pun intended)
- Flying there will take approximately 38 hours
- One night hotel stay in Manila
- Longest flight is from Tokyo to Atlanta
- It's probably the coldest morning in the Philippines and the hottest in MD

That's the basics!  God is so gracious for this opportunity to just relax and even to enjoy the flights.

Blessings!


"Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever." - Psalm 23:6